December 04, 2018

I'm too young not to be silly

Hello hello again,

I am back after the 'holiday/consumer/shopping excuse'. The month of Nov has been rather crazy for me and it seems like every month will probably be that way since I am working full time. I'm back and I must say I have missed writing.

I've been thinking a lot recently and I wanted to make this post because I realized that I am 22 years old. I know that sounds strange but I have always felt much older than I actually was, life has given me struggles that most people my age really shouldn't ever have to deal with. I've always been called an 'old soul' and now I work in an office where I am usually the youngest person in the room and when I go to conference or events for work, as long as someone doesn't bring their actual children I am the youngest person in the room.  I haven't really noticed my age I guess because I've always been around people who were the same age. We shared the same experiences and society has placed the same pressures and expectations upon us.

So the plight of my generation is that at this point, we are expected to have our lives figured out. I do not. Many of my friends do not. And I'm gonna say most people my age do not.  I talk to people twice my age and they say 'when I was your age I had no idea what I wanted to do" or " Yeah, did this thing for 15 years and I hated so I started this new job recently" And I am always shocked. Like I feel like I don't have that option, I feel like I need to know now, what I'll be doing in 25 years and I should be trying to do it. That makes no sense and when I talk to my friends they feel the same way.

There is so much bullshit in the world right now. Racism, division, war, sexism, genocide, and for me to sit and try and force myself to plot out the course of my life when I haven't even lived yet is utterly ridiculous. I am personally, tired of making myself feel bad about that. I am 22 years old and in the grand scheme of life that is literally nothing. I'm not going to compare myself to people who have lived totally different lives than me. As part of learning to love and accept myself more, I'm going to stop holding myself to impossible, unattainable standards.

I'm too young not to be silly.
I'm too young not to be having fun.
I'm too young to be stressed all the time.

And what I think is fun is having an album listening party with my best friend. Yes, my favorite band released their 3rd album at the end of last month, and I saw all the fancy, awesome listening parties being thrown all over the world and I decided we should throw our own.

Guestlist: Me and her (LITT)
Food: Cheese platter, crackers, grapes, chips and guac, Oreos(Yum) 
Drinks: Wine (we dont know anything about alcohol) 

And of course the most important part.... the outfits!

We set up shop in her parent's den and kitchen. We got dressed up, we had our spread out (amongst her mothers chic Christmas decor). We listened to the album (it's amazing), drank wine, ate cookies, sang and danced along. It was one of the best nights I have had in a while. It the kindest of terms it was silly. To have a party with literally only two people invite is "silly" to get dressed up just to stay home was "silly"  But it was me and my best friend and we had a great time. And to me, at this point in my life that is all that really matters. I don't want to look back on my life someday and think "I wish I had..." Now, this isn't a YOLO blog post but isn't though?

Life is going to happen regardless, so I'm not saying don't plan, don't have goals, don't have dreams, I'm saying don't be unhappy and use those things as an excuse.

I hope two things, that this post made sense and wasn't like a 'YOUNG WILD AND FREE' rant, and that if it did make sense it inspires you to do something fun and a little bit silly. 

- Y

Pink trousers (they are on sale right now !) - here
The 1975 UGH! tee - old
Snake print sandals - here
Fanny pack - similar here 
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